It was in a bench that I sat down to rest myself, under a big tree, the place that I gathered another truth. A truth that many other people, for a variety of reasons, don’t want you to know.
You hate the most those who are true to themselves;
those who are Individuals.
Yes, you might follow them; you might get inspired and motivated by them; you might even want to become just like them. But you only like them from a distance. In real life you could never actually stand them. You could not stand spending even an hour with them without getting anxious. You could not stand them in the same way a very hungry person could not stand someone eating in front of them. This is why you become jealous. This is why you become envious.
In fact, you can’t even stand yourself. The thing you fear the most is yourself. You fear to begin being true to yourself. You fear to act the way you desire to act; to say what you want to say; to do what you truly want to do. Your attention is driven by anything except yourself. There is so much conflict inside you.
It is very common for people today to wonder about the purpose of life — even among young people, who are supposed to be full of life and energy. So many conversations and thoughts about the purpose of life and its meaning, and not a single one about what this necessity of purpose is. I’m talking about the need of even having a purpose. Do you think it is a need inherent to our DNA? And if it is so, why doesn’t everybody wonder about it, although admittedly a lot of people do? What about the other animals that exist? What about dogs’ purpose of life, or that of cats? Do you think the free lion in the wild is wondering about what his purpose of being alive is? The decadent stray dog which is stuck in the city, miserable as it is, might think of it — who knows! But not the free lion in the wild, or even the satisfied dog in the city, with regular walks in the big park to play with other dogs and move around.
It seems like that from all the different kinds of species in the world, we are the only ones wondering what is the meaning of life — our life in particular! Freud used to say that a person who is wondering about the meaning of life, is already sick. I can tell you that many of the almost eight billion people on earth give no thought to the matter. As I like to say: the truly free person does not think about death or life’s meaning — although, of course, this does not mean that anyone who does not think about them is necessarily free! On the other hand, the person who is not free, the person who is not the person he thinks should be and feels to be on the inside, the person who does not express what he or she is and who has even stopped trying, has no other option but to make such thoughts. After all, what’s the point of being alive, when, in a sense, you are already dead?
Very often you hear people talking about self-awareness and how this will lead you to happiness and other stuff. But let’s be frank. Does anybody of you really not know what you want? What your body wants? What you crave for? You do. You know that you do. You have two choices then.
You can either face the fact that you are currently a coward, that you are scared to be who you feel you truly are, what comes natural to you or… you can keep lying to yourself, keep doing all the things except the ones that you really want to do; keep being all the different kinds of persons that you are, except the only one that you really want to be: yourself.
I must note something important here, though. People often have a distorted notion of what being yourself means, like doing weird or extravagant things. But it’s not that. The essence of being yourself and express it, in bottom line means to ignore others (at least when your actions and words do not affect them). It means to have your own rules and values instead of those of others. It means to just be you, whatever that is at any specific moment, from the simplest things to the most important ones. To be yourself means to ignore most of society’s preconceived ideas and just be you: either you are a man, a woman, a child, a parent, a professional, a student, or anything else; either it is morning, afternoon, or night; either it is a period of holidays or not. To be yourself means to be connected with what you want and desire, and be those things.
I can assure you about one thing: as long as you’re not who you really are, you don’t say what you want to say, you don’t move the way you want to move, and you don’t act as it comes natural to you (OBVIOUSLY with some self-restricted limits; we are people living in a society after all, not animals), then, no matter how many blog posts you will read, no matter how many videos you will watch, how many books you will read, how many podcasts you will listen, how much time you will spend to meditate, how much of a healthy diet you will follow, or how much you will wonder about the purpose of life, in the end of the day, every day, the result will always be the same: unfulfilled feelings and dissatisfaction.
But be prepared, my dear friend. At first, when you will begin to be yourself, probably some people will not like you. You might get marginalized, you might feel alone. But you will be yourself and this will be a big compensation. Because in the process of pleasing other people, you forgot your own self. But don’t worry, there are so many people out there who will be glad to be with you. And when they will appear, you will be certain that it is precisely you that they like and not somebody else who you pretend to be.
Be yourself, man and woman, because everybody else is indeed taken, as the popular saying goes. No other self will ever fit you better than your self. Let your fears go away and finally, once and for all, just be yourself. You have nothing to lose. But even if you lose something, then probably this is a sign that you should not have it in the first place… because for you to have it, you should have abandoned yourself!